I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
