Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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