you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
