I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
