Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
