Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
