I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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