dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
