Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
