Your tits are I can't wait for
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
