I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
