i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
