don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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