The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
