I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
