HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
