ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
