so explain again why im purple
no
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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