it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
