Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
