I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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