I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
