i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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