every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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