Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This house was built for laser tag.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
foreskin is a definite game changer
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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