He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I checked into jail on foursquare
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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