Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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