when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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