She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
