U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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