My brain says no but my pants say off.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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