i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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