Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i love accidental penises.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
