i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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