I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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