watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
