I think scott just propositioned me for sex
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
