It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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