There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
