I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
