whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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