the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
