I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
