grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
