Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize