Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
