During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
