This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
