Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
