Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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