i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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